WHY???

WHY?
-- A Poem Composed Upon a Turbulent State of Mind 
 -- Sai Varenya

Better kill me
With a dagger
Dear friend
For I can endure
That pain
Instead of your
Friend-Stranger-Friend-
Stranger play.
Block-unblock- block
I never had any negative intentions.
Nor do I have it now.
Nor will I have it in future.
For I love u,

As someone special.
As a person whom 

I adore so much,
For no reason
I could point out.

In my heart,
You are like a close friend of mine.
A brother sometimes,
A confident smtms,
Sm1 with whom
I can be myself.

I may call u funny names.
For I love to call
Such funny names.
To those close
At my heart and mind.
I will Call you.
Even if you don't like it.
For... I like it so much.
My Kunjigaaru...

I respect you.

It hurts too much
When u block
Me, Gaaru.
Please don't...
Are u testing me?
Are u playing 

With the feelings

 Of this poor 

innocent girl?
Am I still a stranger for u?
R u trying to keep me away?
If yes, why?
WHY? WHY?

I want answer.
I asked u this umpteem times.
All my queries,
Fell always,
On deaf ears.
Bearing no fruit.

Still, I ask you...
WHY?
Again and again
I will ask,
WHY?
I ponder answer for this
In the depth of my mind.