Dreams in Vain

Dreams in Vain 

Dreams in vain dissolve,

Vain distress consumes the souzl,

Heartache whispers low.

-- A short Haiku poem by Sai Varenya

13/06/2025

8.50 PM

No Tears Can Heal My Murivu

 No Tears Can Heal My Murivu

No tears can heal my murivu,

it's deeply cut.

And the murivu grows deeper

day by day.

Pain lingering

in my subconscious

has now leapt out

through my eyes —

as tears.

My tears tell a story,

a story of my pain,

a story of disillusioned dreams,

a story of who I longed to be.

Tears purify my mind,

if only for a while.

But still —

the mind remains unhealed.

-- Sai Varenya

13/06/2025

9.02 PM

I Wish I Were with You on A1171

 I Wish I Were with You on A1171

(A Lament for the Lost, and the Left Behind)

I wish I were with you in A1171,

On that final flight, beneath a setting sun.

The day my dear 241

Fell from the sky — and I came undone.

If fate had etched my name that day,

Perhaps a life might find its way

Back to the earth with breath and light,

If I had flown into that night.

But here I stand — a soul unhealed,

With wounds too deep to be concealed.

Each day I cry, each night I ache,

My dreams lie still — they will not wake.

My hopes are hushed, my spirit worn,

A desert heart, unloved, forlorn.

No hand to hold, no eyes that see

The aching truths that live in me.

No voice to lift me when I fall,

No warmth that answers when I call.

No mirror shows a smile that’s true —

I’ve forgotten how to simply be... or do.

Death is no friend — I know it well,

But sometimes it feels like a safer shell.

Not for joy — for peace, for rest,

To lay this sorrow from my chest.

Yet here I am, and still I write,

My grief a candle in the night.

The world may never truly see

The silent storms that rage in me.

But if these words can bear my pain,

Like petals soft beneath the rain,

Then let them float on winds above —

In memory, in loss, in love.

I wish I were with you in A1171,

But I remain… beneath the sun.

--Sai Varenya

13/06/2025

2.29 PM

Tears in Bloom

 Tears in Bloom

Tears bloom from my eyes —

when the dam breaks, they rush out,

watering silence. 

--Sai Varenya 

13/06/2025

2.39 PM

This is my first Haiku poem. 

TIAS

 Scheming Abusive Anarchy

Sowing discord with Insidious Lies

Tainting truths

You turned me into insane

With your toxic intentions

I didn't fight in your chaotic game, 

For I refuse to fight with  a fool. 

That's why I chose to walk away, 

With dignity at length.

--Sai Varenya

04/06/2025

8.44 PM

The Teacher I Never Wanted to Be

 The Teacher I Never Wanted to Be

-- Sai Varenya

I hate being a teacher—

Not the teaching,

Not the curious eyes

Or the minds hungry for meaning,

But this mask they force on me,

In this place

Where truth is a trespasser.

They say,

A teacher must be a role model.

But I’m not your flawless figure—

I carry cracks,

Scars unseen,

Flaws I don’t flaunt but don’t fake either.

Still, I stand

For truth.

Yet here—

Truth is an exile.

I am told to cook marks

Like recipes for praise.

Fabricate success.

Lure students with glittered lies

For the next admission season.

I speak what my mind refuses,

Nod when my soul says No.

Behind the curtain,

I’m not cast to shine,

But to serve shadows—

A puppet they prefer silent.

I was cheated.

Ignored.

Ghosted.

Felt like the air around them—

Present, but never seen.

At times,

I retreat into myself

And question my very breath.

Yet—I breathe.

Still here.

Wearing this uncomfortable mask

To please a crowd

That only claps when truth bows low.

I hate being this kind of teacher,

Who couldn't nurture truth,

Or build the future

With the bricks of values and virtue.

They worship marks—

But marks are just ink.

Degrees—just paper.

What matters

Is how you treat a stranger,

How you speak when no one’s watching,

What you choose

When no one applauds.

To all my students,

To colleagues

And the parents too—

Happiness is not measured in grades.

Peace can't be printed on certificates.

Wealth means nothing

If your heart is bankrupt.

True richness?

It’s in living freely.

In being honest—

Even when it hurts.

In serving with soul,

Not smiling for show.

If this world won’t let me teach

With truth in my hands—

Then maybe one day

I'll walk away,

To teach life

By living it

Loudly,

Lovingly,

And without lies.

Sai Varenya

04/06/2025

8.26 PM

The Lie You Called Love

 The Lie You Called Love

(A Poem of Betrayal)

Why did you walk into my life,

That cold February in 2020,

Wearing masks of charm and care,

But hiding only cruelty?

I trusted you —

Blindly, hopelessly so,

That was my flaw,

And how well you played the show.

You laughed behind curtains,

Pulled pranks with a smile,

Made me your puppet,

At least for a while.

Though something felt off,

Something didn’t align,

I silenced the warning,

Pretended it was fine.

I thought you loved me.

Oh, what a fool I became.

You fed me sweet stories,

Each one a poisonous game.

You brainwashed my dreams,

Promised stars in the sky,

Spoke of a future

Built on a beautiful lie.

You painted me visions —

A job I’d adore,

As Assistant Professor

Behind college doors.

But truth surfaced cruelly,

A cooked-up deceit,

And I watched my ambition

Fall to my feet.

From that moment onward,

The spiral began,

Headaches and heartaches,

No strength left to stand.

I wished it would end,

Too many nights in despair,

Lost in the silence,

Screaming for air.

Why did you do it?

What joy did you gain?

Leaving behind

A trail of my pain.

Yet here I am —

Broken, but breathing still,

Fighting the storm

With a quieter will.

--Sai Varenya

04/06/2025

8.07 PM